“Here I am. Please reassure me that I’m okay.”
We may be talking about the football scores, or my coffee order, or a solution to the world’s problems. When I get quiet and meditate on the message behind the message behind the message, every message seems to have, at its deepest core, a request for a response that reassures the messenger that they are okay (“okay” being different for every messenger).
For now, I’m going to listen for this message at the heart of everything I hear and - as far as I am able - let my response carry at its heart the message “Yes. You are okay.”
And we’ll see what comes of it.
How many arguments are a loop of two people simultaneously pleading with each other for this reassurance and failing to get it?
When I’m clear about the core of the message, I can break the cycle, first by giving myself, and then by giving the other, the reassurance we’re looking for.