If I really want peace, I must not be afraid.
Every separating action I take:
Yelling
Othering
Name calling
Calling out
Avoidance
Shutting down
Armoring up
Running away
Pulling rank
Ultimatums
Guilt tripping
Manipulation
Dishonesty
Coercion
Physical Violence
…is an expression of fear attempting to end or avoid something I am afraid of:
pain
loss
physical disability
hardship
self criticism
exclusion
powerlessness
persecution
being found out
being misunderstood
harsh judgment
a sense of failure
dereliction of a perceived duty
my own negative opinion
When these fears arise in me and I rush to defend myself, the actions I take amplify my own fear and strike fear into the hearts of those around me. Which they, in turn, rush to defend, amplifying their fear and scaring me. This is the cycle of war.
When I am not afraid, I short-circuit the cycle and bring peace to myself. Which invites others to be at peace with me.
Which doesn’t mean they will.