Very important question to answer when my mind poses it. My mind is prompting me to sort out something crucial.
If I am “the expert” or “the one who knows,” then I’m in for some suffering when my ignorance is exposed or my knowledge is questioned.
If I am “the nice guy” then I’m in for some suffering when my motives are questioned.
If I am “the helper,” then I’m in for some suffering when my contributions are found to be unhelpful.
If I am “the leader” then I’m in for some suffering when no one follows.
I can really get quiet and think about this question.
I’ll know I’m onto something when who I think I am brings me peace. If it presents me with stress, I’ll know I’m wrong about who I think I am and I can think again.
“I” am no one. ...is one option. Does that bring me stress or peace?
When I defend who I think I am it’s because I’m attached to my identity: I WANT to believe I am who I think I am. But if that identity can be called into question in my mind enough to get defensive, then I can sit with myself and question it for the love of truth. I can really ask myself, “Is that really who I am?” And, if I feel the need to defend it, I can be pretty sure that it’s not.
After years, I’ve found a couple answers that, for now, meet the criteria:
When I choose to be identified as a person…
“As far as I can tell, I am an imperfect, love-deserving human being doing the best they can with what they’re thinking and believing in this moment.”
And when I have no practical need to wear an identity…
“I am no one at all.”